Hello!

I am a mom to two 1 1/2 year old cats, Gus and Frank. They're great cats and a wonderful addition to our family. However, Gus is (this seems like a strange choice of words, but...) fixated on me all the time unless he's sleeping. He always wants me to come and play with him. He likes to go to the throw rug in the living room and roll around while I pet him, and then play with his favorite toys. I'd say he gets up to an hour a day of play--whenever I'm in the living room, I play with him while I hang out with the rest of the family. Also, at various times throughout the day he looks so pathetic and cries so much that he gets some playtime then too. I have a 3 year old daughter, a part time job etc and I just wondered if there's some type of anxiety there or attachment that I can ease with a holistic medication or a behavioral modification. He does play with his brother, but not nearly as much as he follows me around crying and trying to climb up my pant leg...or just staring from a corner of whatever room I'm in and trying to get me to go into the living room to play. Occasionally if he doesn't get what he wants he wanders around the house with a horrible cry like he's dying until I call his name--then he stops immediately. I've had cats all my life (I'm 35) but never one so attached. What causes this? I do love them both to death, but I've never had a cat choose me as his preferred playmate and companion to this extent...it's a little draining. Thanks for any insight or help. (He's a neutered male, btw--no other odd behavior, spraying, aggression, or strange habits.)

Just playing while hanging out may not be what he needs. I'd suggest "play therapy" which is a specific structured playtime using an interactive toy (Go-Cat makes the best ones).

You're already doing behavior modification--only in the wrong direction! When he cries and you answer him, or give him attention--you are reinforcing that behavior. You might want to think about clicker training him to give him another focus. Flower essences may also be beneficial.

BTW I have one cat (out of 4; and one is his brother) that behaves the same way. I fall for it and give in every time! Since I work from home it isn't a huge problem, but I've learned to distract him with Greenies when all else fails! :) (They help keep kitties' teeth clean, too--a bonus!) Do watch the timing if you're using treats, and only reward the behavior you *want* (being quiet, for example!).

Thank you so much Dr. Jean. He's driving me nuts! I guess I am reinforcing his behavior...I've never had such a "talker" of a cat! Thanks for the helpful thoughts and tips.